Workman sits down with The Stoner Puzzle Stash author and totally legitimate doctor, Dr. Blaise Kushman, to discuss his thoughts on Doritos, music festivals, and the innovative studies around his revolutionary Trace Your Face™ therapy.
We’ll start with the hard-hitting questions: Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos?
When I was lad, Cool Ranch was “Cooler Ranch,” and Nacho Cheese was “Nacho Cheesier.” I always wondered: What are they cooler or cheesier than? But confusing comparative adjectives aside, one’s preferred Dorito is often a window into the soul. And at one time or another, we all take a good, hard look in the mirror and make that hard choice. Well, I’m prouder than a hound pup with his first flea to be Nacho Cheese man, and you can take that to the bank.
If you could write your memoir in just seven words, what would it be?
For sale: baby shoes, never worn; weed.
Your methods have been called “phony” at worst and “controversial” at best. Can you tell us a bit more about how you see activities like Trace Your Face and What’s Your Spirit Animal personality quizzes as integral to your practice?
For all those who are nonbelievers, I shall answer your question with another question: What is the forest without trees, the sea without fish, the wind without birds? One is nothing without the other, and the whole is the sum of its weed-puzzle parts—and these parts are rad.
What was the most difficult part of writing The Stoner Puzzle Stash? What did your (now ex) wife think about this book? Was she a fan?
Creating crossword puzzles from scratch was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I once nearly completed a 3K Fun-Run in Santa Fe, New Mexico, in 1983, so I’m no slouch. I’m also proud to report that my wife and I have since reconciled, and we have The Stoner Puzzle Stash to thank for it. When we traced each other’s faces (see Trace Your Face, p.14) over a meal of locally sourced wheat germ and chia seed moussaka, we felt that old spark ignite for the first time in years. Plus, I got the Chow Chows in the divorce proceedings, and she really loves those dogs.
What’s a band you never miss at Reggae on the River?
I go for the classic acts. You know, real heavyweights like Atomic Rooster, Tonto’s Exploding Head Band, Ultimate Spinach, Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band, Cat Mother and the All Night Newsboys . . . these are actual bands, don’t give me that look. Well, look it up, then!
What kind of doctor did you say you were again?
I have an impressive list of doctoral degrees (MD, PhD, JD, MBA, DDS, BDSM) from a fully accredited online university based out of American Samoa, but my real passion is crafting stoner puzzles. Publishing this book has been a dream come true, and I hope folks will enjoy reading it and much as I enjoyed writing it.