They’re coming. Thousands of bloody corpses with hollow eyes and rotting gray flesh are lurching toward your town. They’re hungry for human bodies, with a special hankering for brains. Are you ready? Do you know enough about zombies to survive an attack? Take this Zombie IQ Test to find out. Hint: There could be more than one right answer.
Zombie IQ Quiz
1. Which of the following are signs that the mob of creatures chasing you are zombies?
A. You hear moaning and groaning.
B. You hear lots of loud talking.
C. You notice that they stop at every intersection and look both ways before crossing.
D. You smell something rotting.
2. If a zombie gets close to you, you should:
A. Tell him a very sad story—he will become so upset he won’t be able to attack.
B. Throw something sharp at him. The pain will stop him in his tracks.
3. A zombie has made it to your front doorstep. You crack the door open and toss him:
A. A head of garlic.
B. A very salty piece of meat.
C. A note that reads, “We’re not home right now, but the neighbors are.”
4. The best way to kill a zombie is to:
A. Throw him in a lake or pool and drown him.
B. Bury him.
C. Remove his or her clothes. Zombies can literally die of embarrassment.
D. None of the above.
!!BEWARE!! Answers below…
1. A and D.
Zombies are terrible conversationalists. In fact, most can’t talk. But they do moan and groan. They are relentlessly aggressive in their search for human flesh, which means they don’t bother stopping at intersections. And because they are rotting corpses, they have major body odor issues.
Zombies are not terribly tender or emotional, so a sad story won’t stop them. And they cannot feel pain, so a sharp instrument won’t help much. But they can inflict pain. Better run.
According to folklore, when a zombie eats salt, his soul returns and he goes back to the grave, which means he will stop bothering you. This isn’t true for all zombies, but maybe you’ll be lucky. As for garlic, it protects against vampires, remember? And don’t bother with notes. Zombies can’t read.
Some zombies can be killed if you manage to destroy their brains. But in general, you can’t kill (or embarrass) a zombie, because zombies are already dead.
Zombies are dead bodies that have been brought back to life, usually by an outside force like a virus or radiation or a bite from another zombie. Zombies don’t have minds or personalities—they can’t think or talk or feel. But they do have goals. Actually, just one goal: eating the flesh of the living. And they won’t stop until they get what they want.
Learn more about zombies in Julie Winterbottom’s Frightlopedia, on sale now.