Queeries: LGBT Pride Month Edition

Today we bring you a couple of short questions and answers with one adjective in mind: pride. Since June is Pride Month, and cities all over the U.S. are hosting pride rallies (New York’s march is coming up on Sunday, June 26th–mark your calendars!), we’ve put together a quick Q&A about the festivities. Check out Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners for more tips about all kinds of manners, and be sure to download (for a limited time) the short, extremely relevant, e-book: The Real World Guide to Coming Out. Happy Pride!

General Pride Guidelines

Q: I’m thinking about taking part in the Pride festivities this year–any tips for the first-time attendee?

A: Parades and pride marches, from the annual LGBT festivities to local trans and dyke events, are part and parcel of our political culture. If you decide to join in, here’s what you need to know:

Keep in step. Adjust your pace to suit the people around you.

Don’t engage in name-calling if heckled.

If you’re blowing a whistle, don’t do it in someone’s ear.

Don’t hold up the line to cruise someone on the sidelines–unless you’re able to march and flirt at the same time.

Respect all public safety officers and follow the law.

Be gracious if someone wants to cross the street between marchers.

Share your water and sunscreen.

In Search of a Gay Pride dress code

Q: I’m looking forward to my city’s pride celebration later this month but was wondering if you have some suggestions on a dress code for those in attendance. Here’s why I ask: On a day when our community gets so much attention from the news media, I think it’s a shame that so many of us don’t present a more wholesome face to the country. Why do so many gay men and lesbians need to show up in full drag or leather?

A: I hope you’re not suggesting I ask Dykes on Bikes to refrain from kicking off pride parades in cities across the country. While they’re certainly front and center for logistical reasons (after all, you wouldn’t want to march in front of them), there’s also another more important explanation: They are symbolic of the defiance, freedom, and, yes, gay pride, that was birthed during the Stonewall Riots in 1969. Ever since, they, along with groups dressing in the particular styles you  mention, have been criticized for presenting a “face” of LGBT people to the world that’s too provocative.

I’d suggest that there is a time and a place for everything. Pride festivities provide a brief moment every year to recall Stonewall, which we do happen to owe to a group of drag queens and trans people, among others. Even the current marriage-equality movement is about inclusion and diversity. If the more mainstream parts of our community push the leather and drag communities to the side, literally and metaphorically, we’ll have erased the essence of gay pride.

At the same time, I think the reason we have other advocacy groups that do present a more “wholesome” front–complete with suit and tie–is that they’re more effective in Congressional hearings and in state legislatures across the country.