11 Things a Man Can Do to Drive a Woman Crazy!

No, not that kind of crazy. But as shop windows fill up with giant pink teddy bears holding boxes of chocolates, the percentage of red roses at the local flower shop becomes alarmingly disproportionate, and starry-eyed lovers find too many excuses to be overly affectionate in public, here are a few sobering reminders of the bizarre, annoying, surprising, quirky, and ultimately endearing habits of our better halves (whom we love, in spite of their idiosyncrasies). Hey, every Prince Charming leaves the toilet seat up sometimes.

He growls at the dog, just to make it clear who’s the boss. –Eleanor from New Haven, CT

He asks blunt questions. “Pregnant, Sue?” “Dyed your hair, Wanda?” –Randie from Waukegan, IL

No matter what’s bothering me, if I’m mad, he says, “Oh, no. Is it that time of the month again?” –Barbara from Laramie, WY

He does magic tricks, anytime, anywhere. In line at the food market, waiting at the doctor’s office, at the seashore, on the train. Anyplace. He’ll pull a quarter out of someone’s ear, find a nickel in their nose. It’s not as bad as it used to be, though. He used to do impressions. — Lynda from Portsmouth, NH

He never buttons the second button of his shirt because an old girlfriend told him it was sexy to let a few chest hairs show. — Mary Beth from Deerfield, IL

There are days he decides that he’s not going to brush his teeth. If I ask him about this, he says, “I’m giving them a rest.” — Randy from Chattanooga, TN

He wears wingtips and black socks. Even in hot weather, with shorts. Like a refugee from some accounting firm. –Polly from Evanston, IL

He goes outside wearing only his string bikini underwear. He struts and swaggers around, getting the newspaper or the mail, or just hanging around. He says clothes aren’t normal when you live in a warm climate. –Faith from Boca Raton, FL

He’s forever flirting. Waitresses, his friends’ wives, my sister, my mother. Even me, if there’s no other woman around. –Sheila from Buffalo Grove, IL

He’s always in the bathroom. It’s his “office.” He has a phone in there, a small TV, a book rack, newspapers, and magazines. He talks to his broker, his secretary, his clients. All he needs is a computer and he’ll never come out. –Regina from Chevy Chase, MD

He used coupons to pay for our anniversary dinner. –Candy from New York, NY

–Megan, whose own Prince Charming likes to take decorating their apartment into his own hands–hanging art, rearranging furniture–when she’s out of town.


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    February 7, 2011 at 8:03 am

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    February 7, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Ah, we are such quirky little creatures. I have to admit, I’ve done some of these. Specifically, growling at the dog (just playing with her) and the forever flirting. Just Saturday, my wife, daughter, and I were at a Chinese buffet. The waitress (?) refilled our drinks and I bluntly exclaim “Thank you, babe” as she walks away. A couple minutes later, I look at my wife and say, “I think I just called that waitress ‘babe’!” She just laughed and said “I think you did, too!”

    I’m glad my wife loves me, is all I can really say. 😉

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