Navigating the New World of Same-Sex Marriages

As you’re probably aware, last month New York state passed the Marriage Equality Act, legalizing same-sex marriage for the entire state! The law goes into effect this Sunday July 24, when thousands of New York couples will flock to their local city marriage bureaus and make their unions official. In fact, so many people are expected to turn up at the City Clerk’s Office here in NYC that the city has set the cap at 764 marriages (divided amongst the five boroughs). Couples—gay and straight—who want to get married on this special Sunday had until today at noon to enter their names in a lottery, and the lucky chosen ones will be notified on Friday afternoon. Can you imagine planning a wedding in just 48 hours?! It’ll be stressful but undoubtedly worth it, especially for those people who have waited years to see their dream become a reality.

We here at Workman are so excited about this weekend’s nuptials that we’ve decided to share a little wedding gift with the happy couples. On Sunday and Monday, a team of intrepid assistants and interns (myself included) will take up posts outside the City Clerk’s Office in Manhattan and hand out copies of Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners—not just to the brides and grooms, but to their friends and family, gay and otherwise, who could likely benefit from a little guidance on this special day and at gay weddings in the future.

After all, “traditional” weddings are steeped in old rituals, but how does the game change when there are two brides or two grooms? Who pays for the rings? How do you introduce two men who are married—as partners? as husbands? What happens to the conventional mother-of-the-bride role when there are two brides, each with her own (potentially domineering) mother? It’s a new and exciting world out there, but it also leaves a lot of questions, all of which are answered in Steven Petrow’s definitive guide to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) life.

Will you be goin’ to the chapel/government building this weekend to get your marriage on, or even just to enjoy the festivities? Let us know in the comments! And if you’re in Manhattan, be sure to come say hey—we’ll be the ones snapping pics and jumping for joy (oh, and handing out copies of the book).

Want to know more? Check out this radio interview with Steven Petrow on The Brian Lehrer Show (click the link or just stream the interview below), where Steven not only covers the logistics of this weekend’s historic wedding event, but answers lots of caller questions about other aspects of modern life for LGBT folks and the people who love them.

The lottery to get married this weekend in New York City may be closed, but Sunday’s weddings are just the first of many more to come!