There Are Plenty of Princes in the Sea!

Oh happiest of days! Sound the trumpets, dance a jig, put on your best hat! It’s finally happened!!

Don’t pretend you don’t know what we’re talking about—or worse, that you don’t care. It’s the Royal Wedding, of course! The festivities began at 11 am GMT (6 am EST—were you up?), and by now Prince William of Wales and the lovely Kate Middleton have been wed in front of several million of their closest friends. The dress, the ceremony, the crowds: It’s all so romantic and sweet and royal that we can hardly stand it!!!

But, truth be told, it’s not all sunshine and flowers and happily chiming bells—at least not around here. Of course we’re happy for the newlyweds, and we hope they enjoy the gift we sent them (Royal wedding tea cozies. They like tea there, right?). But when you get right down to it, the marriage of Wills and Kate means one thing above all else: one less eligible bachelor.

Ugh. That’s unfortunate, to say the least. But hey! Don’t despair: There are plenty of princes in the sea (let’s not forget about Harry!), and we can help you net one, with tips from Nicholas Boothman’s How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes or Less. Below, an introduction to introductions—in other words, the key to speaking those crucial first words to the cutie across the room (or the pond…). After all, even Kate and Wills had to start somewhere, and we’re pretty sure it was with a smoother line than “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Engineering Introductions
If a stranger across a crowded room catches your fancy, ask your host or a mutual friend or acquaintance to introduce you. But don’t leave things to chance. Instead, prepare your own ten-second commercial ahead of time by telling your introducer what to say—your name, perhaps where you’re from, and what you do for a living, or something else memorable about you, all put in an interesting way. It’ll come off a lot better than “Heather, this is Jim. He got soaked coming here, didn’t you, Jim?”

It’s also important to follow that old rule: Two’s company, three’s a crowd. Politely ask your host to introduce you, say one or two interesting things about you, and then leave. “Heather, this is Jim. He lives in Seattle and makes films.” You want the third party out of the way so the conversation doesn’t become two people talking and one listening—a bad dynamic for making a connection, no matter who ends up doing the talking.

If you really want to impress, ask your host to tell you two or three interesting things about the person you want to meet before he introduces you. Then, when you do connect, you can say, “Bob told me that you spent last month in a Buddhist retreat. What was it like? What inspired you to go?” This strategy puts you on a more personal footing faster.

—Avery, whose wedding will surely be as large and extravagant as today’s main event. (Not.)